In the coming months I will be posting some writings that I come up with on the spot with very little editing. If you are a grammar Nazi I apologize up front. Some will be quite Surreal in nature. They are like sketches. Not complete in themselves. Snippets, Some will be strong while others may be poorly conceived. I don't pretend to be an accomplished writer but I also don't see the need for me to be ONLY a visual artist. Words have undeniable expressive power in which i wish to employ for my own creative ends. This may be a big mistake but so be it. I will illustrate some with my own work if so inspired.
10/22
Her name was Molly and she was your typical burnt out middle aged human resource secretary, trying to smile when all that seemed to exist in her heart was an almost quenched fire and a smothering dust. She worked at a large local store similar to Walmart in its size and spastic energy and hopelessness and one he was soon to be employed at. While she was getting his information into the system, he imagined her in a kinder gentler world with a loving compassionate companion and a less stressful employment that she probably would shine and be quite alluring. Those stressed, blood shot, tired, eyes would relax and the crystal blue would once again glow and shimmer. Is there anything more beautiful than seeing someone who was without hope and see life start to blossom and glow again? And to be that person, to be that light in their life! A true honor and a most beloved joy. And if they would return this beautiful energy . Oh what an amazing union! All this he pondered as he stepped into the worn out shower with the dirty shower curtain, knowing full well that he hadn't such a power anymore though he use to have it in great abundance.
In the shower he saw something black in the shadowed corner of the tub. It looked ominous, bug-like, yet with closer inspection it was only a black lid to a shampoo bottle that had some hair stuck to it. Lately his exhausted mind had been seeing danger in the most mundane, trivial things and he was still having dreams of possession and feeling that his thoughts weren't entirely his own as if a malevolent spirit was constantly twisting his perception of reality. Never letting him be content and confident. This continuous onslaught had rendered him void of courage and this void permeated all his interactions to the point that his weaknesses agitated all that came in contact with him. Abuse was piled on him because he was pathetic. An unconscious judgement. He was a weak link. If he was a part of a herd he would have been left behind for the wolves to take. But he wasn't a completely lost cause and he would prove it somehow if only the demon would give him a reprieve. Alcohol helped with that . But alcohol can be its own demon and was frequently the reason for his depressive episodes. Episodes when loneliness was absolute. He would have to restrict his intake. Beer would suffice anything harder would be dangerous.
The maple outside the bathroom window was a blaze in its fall splendor. There had been the right amount of rain and cold temperatures to make the Michigan fall colors striking even to those long residences who fail to acknowledge such beauty because it seems normal. Normality of that which is sublime. We take for granted that which is beyond explanation then we complain that life is dull. Well that is true in mega superstores but not in nature.
He suddenly thought. "Delving into the black light and the falling stars. I stumble into your waiting arms and cant believe that they are loving embraces. Overhead she saw the danger and freckling aspect of delusion and the ambiance of a glittering yellow donkey whom looks almost divine which makes me smirk. The violence was hideous and he hated himself for it even though it was only in his mind. She laughed and said don't worry we all think such evil thoughts on occasion. Her smile was kissable and her life force was undeniable. All this flinging through the chasm of my mind as I get my work uniform on and fight the demons within who say I am nothing and have failed."